The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either

No one is indestructible. Pity really. But we all so dearly love to think that we are.

I stumbled across a blog recently. It was by a woman who originally began it, as so many bloggers do, to document her travels around the world for her friends and family. On her return it became a way of expressing her loneliness and frustration at her new life of unexpected pregnancy and parenthood. Despite having very little in common with this woman, it made for a fascinating read. But it occurred to me that as I began to understand her situation, I had a feeling of distance between us, like it was a situation I would never find myself in.

But, I would hazard a guess, that is exactly what she had thought.

I'm not saying that will or will not happen to me, or anyone else I know. I'm just saying that we all believe such things do not happen to us. We are different. And on reflection of this immediate assumption, it occurred to me that every single one of us is exactly the same. We are in no way immune from the bad, or maybe just unexpected, things that happen to others and inevitably we will be affected by the things that happen as our lives run their course. It is simply the case that these things will vary from person to person, as they lead their individual lives. So when we say 'I am different', that is completely true. As long as it is not dragging behind it the connotation 'I am better'.

Eventually everything is destroyed, in some way or another. That seems a bit of an ominous statement, but I suppose I mean that everything is fallible and will not always go on as you wish it to. I suppose the only way to save yourself from this is to accumulate so many wonderful things, memories and people that you will face your own destructibility before all of those other things do.

I apologise for the morbidity of this blog.

What I'm trying to tell you is something you would never have guessed from having read all of that. For far too long now, I've been blogging simply to please other people, to gain praise for my wit or insight, and to receive another text from Andrew that says, 'you are pretty much an English genius'. Oh how the ego controls us. So now, I'm determined to write for my own pleasure. Selfish as it may be, for now my words are all for me. But if you think about it, that is no more selfish than I've been so far. The upshot? I'm done with this blog. At least for a while. My blogs have been waning in frequency and quality recently so I think its time to drop it, even if just for now.

Thank you for suffering me for this long.

And rest assured, I'll still be reading.