An idiots guide to rugby union

I'm lame and have no life. Hence I spent my Friday night watching crap TV - it was between QI and Mr Gordon 'fuckin hell you're a fuckin chef but you're serving fish fuckin fingers' Ramsey [doesn't 'fish fuckin fingers' sound wrong? haha ewww sorry...] naturally Mr Fry won - but I found by far the most entertaining thing I watched had to be the Six Nations...

Rugby union makes me laugh. A lot.

So here's an idiot's guide to the hilarious sport. Not that I'm suggesting it's aimed at idiots, I mean it's written by one.

There are 15 men on each team and the aim is to score tries or goals. However there is the dilemma of having too many people in too little space, which results in 30 men using the following 'tactics' to keep out of one anothers way and actually allow some room for game play.

The Ruck:

a 'highly strategic' and 'vital' part of the game.

Hmm... in reality this consists of lots of beefy men regressing to the age of 11 (though admittedly many aren't much older in reality) diving into the world's messiest bundle. Imagine a big heap of cascading woodlice and you're there.

The Scrum:

Think of a big group of butch men attempting the threaten the other team. They do so by *wait for it* hugging each other. I kid you not.

A scrum consists of each team wrapping their arms around one anothers shoulders and then charging like bucks to lock antlers. I never have seen the point of this though. I mean, yeah it looks all intimidating but, for people at least, it doesn't exactly... do anything. The ball just rolls around between their legs like skittles and (not that I'm claiming to understand the finer points) you can virtually guarantee that the team that fed the ball in will get it back out. Hmm... worthwhile

Anyway, I'm rambling now.

Basically league is the way forward (you know, a sport where they actually get on and play instead of hugging and bundling).

:)