Sunday, 12 June 2011

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I am going to offer you the most exciting opportunity of your life, and it comes in the form of university education. You could have the opportunity to pay just £18,000 a year to be taught by Mr Modesty himself. You will spend 3 years surrounded by the wealthiest of the bourgeoisie learning exclusively that most respected of disciplines - the humanities*. Reccently hailed "Jamie's university", those of you who love the made-up style of teaching from extremely prejudiced lecturers (including everyone's favourite, Richard Dawkins!) can experience it first hand, and at such a reasonable price!

So who is 'Mr Modest'?
Anthony Clifford Grayling is a philosopher who has left his position at the University of London, on the basis of claiming that "what's happening is terrible" and having decided to do something about it. His liberal views know no bounds, having made strong arguments about equality and showing support for the public education system. Hence, his decision to create a private university. He is a self-accredited "modest" man who likes to be "withering in his dismissal of those he considers his intellectual inferiors". And you, yes you, could have the opportunity to be taught by him. With such modesty, he will clearly respect and educate his students with all the love and attention their money deserves.

If you need further persuasion, he has the strong backing of Boris Johnson, who has himself considered "setting up a 'Rejects' College' for bourgeois children who failed to get a place at Oxbridge".

If I know you as well as I think I do, I will warn Mr Modesty to expect to find your applications
flooding in.

*I have nothing against the humanities. I'm a philosophy student. I'm just being facetious.
If you would like to know where I stole all this from,
click here.

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