Fings wot I learned

You learn something new everyday. So here’s eight fascinating facts from my week.

1 My philosophy teacher actively encourages us to sell our notes to other students.

2 Ikea sell beds with no slats at the end. You know the kind where if you put your head in any crazy position like, whoa, on your pillow, your mattress will sink. Sending you head first into the wall.

3 My parents will get in and out of the car 5 times before deciding they’re ready to set off. Then they will realise they forgot something.

4 I blog about sex and buses too much. Next up: sexbuses – the latest in a range of mobile brothels. Kinky conductor sold separately.

5 I need help. Serious, sexbus related help.

6 My jaw and hips have impeccable comic timing – they click at the most inconvenient times. Particularly noticeable when leaping from my seat in shock to a chorus of 4 cracks.

7 English teachers use the most stupid acronyms. I mean, 'ER GRAMPA'? Just... what?

8 I have known Katie for over half my life. But less than half of hers. Figure that one out.

So, overall conclusion from my week? People are stupid. All of them. Myself included.