Great lies to tell little kids

I was thinking about how ridiculous so many of things they tell kids (and teenagers for that matter) are. A lot are contradictory. Some are outright wrong. Here is a small selection of the things that amused me on my short walk from the bus stop.

Never judge a book by its cover but always make a good first impression, though first impressions are often wrong.

Right.

I before E except after C. That one is wrong just on its own, i mean what happens to all the beige deictic references that leisurely feign great height? [I'm sorry I'm annoying :)] Also never combine this with what my year two teacher taught me, when two vowels go out walking the first one does all the talking, or you will start talking about 'frinds' and 'tired' seats.

You are all unique, Celebrate diversity and individuality! But if you dare break any rules you will be punished. And shave off that Mohawk booy. Now run along and conform to societies expectations of you :)

Or as the annoying teacher said to us yesterday, for health and safety I think you should stop doing that, you're going to break each others legs... [whinges for a while]... Now carry on.

Ahh the hypocrisy of adults...

OH and Happy Birthday Sophie :)